The good, the bad and the ugly
Sep. 16th, 2007 12:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
columellaOr as I am going to write it, the ugly, the bad and the good....
The ugly:
I am going to post this here just because I think I am done telling it. I am going to try to make this the last time...as I have posted, my brother passed away almost 3 weeks ago. The last time I saw him was more than a month before he passed away. In the end he would not talk to me or my father. Things were strained, my brother did not always make the best choices in life and that did not change as he was dying. But my mother made it much worse. I fully believe she had finally seen her chance to get back at my father since she harbors this great resentment (something to do with their divorce 28 years ago - which is odd because she is the one that left...) The 2 weeks before he died I was completely cut off. I could not even find out where he was. As I was later informed all this was because they were cutting off my father and supposedly I was a spy for him. (huh??) My mother finally called me at the end, but although I arranged to go up and see him the next day it was too late. And then he was gone, leaving his 18 month daughter behind.
The bad:
Then we went back to being cut off. We were not even to know where his body was taken. My father found out though and then had his lawyer send an injunction to stop proceedings so he could claim my brothers body since he is the legal next of kin. Fortunately, by the time my brothers girlfriend was notified of the legal proceedings my mother had gone back home to the other side of the country and cooler heads prevailed. They (through the lawyer) came to an understanding.
The good:
It will finally be over and settled soon. All the drama has made the grieving process extra difficult - I go back and forth between being sad and being angry. My father is coming down the end of the month and we will hold a memorial service on Friday, September 28th (at 3pm for those that might wish to attend.) His ashes will be interred at the local catholic cemetary.
It is very weird that he is gone - even though we led very different lives. As adults we were the opposite ends of the spectrum and this often meant we were at odds. The reasons for that would fill a book. But it no longer matters why. There was always this hope that as we got older things would change, but now it never will. But life goes on and other things do change. My relationships with my parents have drastically changed. After years of having a very superficial relationship with my father we seem to be building something much better. And after years of putting up with my mothers blame and guilt I decided this was the last straw and have currently cut off communication so as to get that drama out of my life.
And thus our lives our changed.
The ugly:
I am going to post this here just because I think I am done telling it. I am going to try to make this the last time...as I have posted, my brother passed away almost 3 weeks ago. The last time I saw him was more than a month before he passed away. In the end he would not talk to me or my father. Things were strained, my brother did not always make the best choices in life and that did not change as he was dying. But my mother made it much worse. I fully believe she had finally seen her chance to get back at my father since she harbors this great resentment (something to do with their divorce 28 years ago - which is odd because she is the one that left...) The 2 weeks before he died I was completely cut off. I could not even find out where he was. As I was later informed all this was because they were cutting off my father and supposedly I was a spy for him. (huh??) My mother finally called me at the end, but although I arranged to go up and see him the next day it was too late. And then he was gone, leaving his 18 month daughter behind.
The bad:
Then we went back to being cut off. We were not even to know where his body was taken. My father found out though and then had his lawyer send an injunction to stop proceedings so he could claim my brothers body since he is the legal next of kin. Fortunately, by the time my brothers girlfriend was notified of the legal proceedings my mother had gone back home to the other side of the country and cooler heads prevailed. They (through the lawyer) came to an understanding.
The good:
It will finally be over and settled soon. All the drama has made the grieving process extra difficult - I go back and forth between being sad and being angry. My father is coming down the end of the month and we will hold a memorial service on Friday, September 28th (at 3pm for those that might wish to attend.) His ashes will be interred at the local catholic cemetary.
It is very weird that he is gone - even though we led very different lives. As adults we were the opposite ends of the spectrum and this often meant we were at odds. The reasons for that would fill a book. But it no longer matters why. There was always this hope that as we got older things would change, but now it never will. But life goes on and other things do change. My relationships with my parents have drastically changed. After years of having a very superficial relationship with my father we seem to be building something much better. And after years of putting up with my mothers blame and guilt I decided this was the last straw and have currently cut off communication so as to get that drama out of my life.
And thus our lives our changed.
